I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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