I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
