this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He shit in the fireplace
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
