You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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