Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
