me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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