I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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