ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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