They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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