were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
