Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
