No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
