im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
porn star boner night. come get it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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