I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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