i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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