Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
