Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
