Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
