I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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