yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize