on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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