Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
