I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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