is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
