either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
