guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
