I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
