Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
