STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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