what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
