garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
