I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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