i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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