I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
try to milk me bitch
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
