Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
