Got a toothbrush?
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize