since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
