yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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