Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
