Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
