That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
