i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
