You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I have post one night stand depression
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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