Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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