how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
