He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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