Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
one might say we're banned from that church
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize