I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
