I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
