I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
