Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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