brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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