My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
