remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you win again, gameday.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
