there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
