I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize