I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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