also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
