I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
