Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize