Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
